Mendicancy and Prejudice

I have a difficult time dealing with the question of mendicancy.

It came up yesterday when Emily and I were sitting in a little khmer cafe. We were seated near the door, facing the outdoors, sipping on khmer iced-coffees, and reading philosophy. How bourgeois. An older one-legged man hopped past the restaurant with a crutch, until he was almost out of sight. At the last minute, he looked over his shoulder, and (we thought) saw us seated near the exit.

[Now, it often happens that foreigners, especially white foreigners in Cambodia, are approached (if not assaulted) by mendicants. By mendicants I mean professional beggars. Those who are dedicating their lives to asking for money from others. Those who, if you remain in a place long enough, will see day-in and day-out sitting on a corner and begging for their livelihood.]

I assumed that this one-legged man was one of the same group. Especially since he turned back and approached us after looking over his shoulder. Immediately after making eye-contact I told him "ot-te" which basically means "no". He seemed to ignore me, and kept approaching. So I said it again (it being the crude, but only way I know of saying "no" to beggars). After saying no a second time, I noticed that he wasn't stepping into the restaurant, and that he actually had money in his hand, and was looking in to the cafe.

You see, the cafe has a small stall outside that sells local food, and it had just recently been stocked by the employees. They were sitting in the back and having lunch themselves, so they didn't see this little scene playing out at the front of the cafe.

So here I am. the dreadful realization of an alternate explanation for the man's actions dawning in my mind. "Maybe he just wanted to buy a meal". All of this happened in a second, just after I said no a second time. Before I could say another word, the man shot me a hurtful glance and hopped away. I felt terrible. I wanted to say so many things to the man. I wanted to apologize; I wanted to alert the staff that they have a customer waiting; I wanted to buy his meal for him; I wanted to do anything I could to atone for my insult. Too late. He had left. And with his departure, left me embarrassed and shamed.

Emily said that she was sure he only turned back after making eye-contact with her, and that it wasn't the food that caught his eye. She also said that he had the money in his hand the whole time. What a strange and ambiguous situation then, where two equally possible stories describe the same situation. Emily suggested I take the situation as a reminder of what kinds of perceptions we're putting on people that we meet; that we should be wary of what prejudices we might have floating around inside us.

It's not that she mentioned the word prejudice (I threw that in - artistic license), but I knew that's what her comment was getting at. I have considered before the prejudices that people have of the poor, but I have never really considered (or even seen) those prejudices in myself. I consider, like many Baha'is, the elimination of prejudice of all kinds as a requisite to spiritual growth. At the same time, we've been reading some of Martin Buber's works. He talks about some random stuff, and is often abstruse, and excessively wordy. In spite of that, we've gleaned some great stuff from his philosophy. He talks about the necessity of meeting each situation for what it is, and responding to it specifically. This experience brought to my attention how much of my life must actually be on autopilot; how little consideration I'm actually giving to the nuances of each situation I encounter. Essentially, I wanted to share this little realization I've had of the importance of giving each situation a careful consideration; of approaching each person with respect. Indeed, it looks right now like a very good method for me to eliminate my prejudices.

I'm not sure how they will look different, or what they will look like, but I am sure my interactions with everyone I meet will be perceptibly different from here on in [I'll be sure to write it up when I figure it out!].

Much love,

Ashraf.


p.s. Please comment if you have some experiences/advice/thoughts about mendicancy, or the elimination of prejudice!